


Hey Remember That Time?

by AnakarayaSlytherin



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: (only slightly), Humor, M/M, Mpreg, Pregnancy, Smut, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, discussions of abortion, i wrote this and im rather proud lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-15 20:14:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3460481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnakarayaSlytherin/pseuds/AnakarayaSlytherin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Izaya tells Shizuo some news and a park gets destroyed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hey Remember That Time?

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by Regina Spektor's "That Time" 
> 
> Im still laughing why did i write this.

Izaya was going to kill Shizuo.  
  
He was currently lying on his couch, Shinra packing up his medical kit and babbling about what his options were, what he should do if he decided to keep it etc. etc. Izaya wasn’t listening. He was still reeling over the big announcement Shinra made when he checked Izaya over.  
  
“Congrats! You’re pregnant!”  
  
Pregnant.  
  
Orihara Izaya. One, if not the most dangerous man in the city, and the best informant anywhere, was _pregnant._  
  
And it was all Shizuo’s fault.

Shinra was still babbling away, “If you want an abortion you should probably make an appointment with a specialist soon-”  
  
“Why can’t you do it?” Izaya interrupted.

  
Shinra clicked his tongue, “Because that’s not what I’m trained to do, and while I trust my skills, I’d rather you not die because I caused a botched operation. ”  
  
Izaya hummed and stared out his window. It would be the best plan to just get rid of it, he had no time for kids and he had never planned on having any. But…   
_‘I want to torment Shizu-chan with this first. He caused this, he has to live with it.’_   
  
“Can I ask,” Shinra interrupted Izaya’s thoughts cautiously, “Who’s the uh- other father?”   
  
Izaya smiled, “Can you guess Shinra?” Shinra’s eyes widened slightly before he shook his head, as if erasing the first name that came to mind.  
  
“I don’t want to know how that happened.”   
  
_‘No,’_ Izaya thought, _‘you really don’t’._   
\--

_They had been fighting. As usual. Izaya had run into an alleyway and Shizuo had followed. Izaya had been laughing while Shizuo was breathing heavily, rage in his eyes._   
  
_“Shizu-chan, are you tired now?” Izaya had taunted in a light voice._

_“Shut up!” Shizuo had snarled at him, he looked around for anything he could throw that would cause heavy damage, unfortunately the alley way they had run too was rather empty of late._

_“Nothing here for you Shizu-chan, unless you want to come at me with your bare hands?” Izaya had called out, while trying to figure out the best escape route. He already had a knife in his hands._

_And then he came up with the BEST plan._

_“Or maybe instead of ripping each other to pieces, which would be fun, we could have a different type of fun?” Izaya had purred at Shizuo, who was now looking confused._

_“What-?”_   
  
_Izaya had already walked over towards Shizuo, trying to look as seductive as possible. His plan was to confuse him, tease him, and then get the fuck out of dodge. The confusion part was already underway from the way Shizuo was looking at him._   
  
_“What are you doing?!” Shizuo’s rage had dissipated into confusion, and, Izaya was happy to note, some lust. He was already at Shizuo, running his hands down his front, and a knee pressed slightly against his crotch (Izaya fought the urge to smash it as hard as he could)._   
  
_“Come on, just once? I can tell you want to~” Izaya had sung out quietly, and then before Shizuo could say anything he pulled him down for a kiss._

\--  
Shinra had left and Izaya was still lying on the couch. Checking his phone periodically and figuring out just how he was going to go about this. Call Shizuo? Taunt him about it in front of everyone? Leave a bucket of flowers at his door with a ‘congrats you’re a dad!’ card?

  
Izaya had never wanted kids, had never had the desire and he had been hoping that his T would have taken care of that problem soon (according to Shinra it would take a few more years of use before it would shut down that part of his system for good… if only he had known). But… now he was thinking it wouldn’t be so bad to have a kid around. A little prodigy he could train to follow in his footsteps after he was gone.  
  
 _‘And if it has Shizu-chan’s strength then imagine the damage it could cause,’_ Izaya thought with more than a little bit of amusement.  
  
Oh speaking of Shizu-chan, the Dollars website proved helpful in locating him. He was sitting in one of the parks, apparently talking to Celty.

 **‘LOOK I EVEN GOT A PICTURE!!!!!!!’** the poster on the website had written excitedly. Izaya was laughing at the image of Shizuo looking so calm, smoking on a bench next to Celty who was leaning against her bike.   
  
_‘You won’t be so calm after this Shizu-chan~~’_ Izaya taunted. He grabbed his coat and began to walk out of the apartment, he had some news to tell.

\--  
 _Izaya had been planning to leave the minute he had distracted Shizuo but… it was proving difficult._  
 _They were now lying on the ground, Izaya moaning as Shizuo kissed a trail down his neck._  
  
 _“Pants,” Izaya had panted tugging at Shizuo’s pants, “Pants off now.”_  
 _Shizuo carefully took his pants off, setting them aside while Izaya whined, urging him to take them off faster._  
  
 _Shizuo was less careful with Izaya’s clothes however, he practically ripped his pants apart, but when he took off the underwear he stopped._  
  
 _“You’re a-?”_  
  
 _“A boy. With a vagina. Problem?” A dangerous glint was in his eyes._  
  
 _Shizuo looked at him with furrowed eyebrows, “I don’t have any..uh…”_  
  
 _Izaya sighed in frustration, “Doesn’t matter, I’m clean, you’re clean let’s just keep going please?” And he grinded against Shizuo, hoping that would get him to continue._  
  
 _It did._   
\--  
“Shizu-chan~~” Izaya called out in the park. He could already see the vein twitching in Shizuo’s forehead.   
  
“What do you want flea?” Shizuo called out, fury already in his tone. Celty was now typing frantically, trying to calm him down.   
  
“I’m not here to fight Shizuo! I’m just here to tell you the good news?”   
  
“You’re finally getting out of my city for good?”   
  
Izaya laughed, oh Shizuo. “No actually! It’s something completely different! Do you want to guess?” he teased.   
  
Shizuo looked like he was ready to throw the entire city at him. “I don’t have time for games just tell me already!”   
  
“It involves that one ~fight~ we had about three months ago, you remember?” Izaya smiled cruelly at the slight blush that started to appear in Shizuo’s face. Celty looked between the two completely confused.   
  
“What.. What does that have to do with anything?” Shizuo was grasping the edge of the bench he was sitting on tightly, it was cracking.   
  
Izaya laughed, “Can’t your tiny brain make the connection? No? Alright I’ll just tell you,” he cleared his throat dramatically before calling out, “Congratulation’s Shizu-chan, you’re going to be a father!”   
  
The bench broke.   
  
There was dead silence in the park.   
  
Celty looked like she was shrieking internally in horror. Her phone had dropped.   
  
Izaya was smiling widely.   
  
And poor Shizuo looked like his entire world had just spun out of orbit.   
  
_‘What a great end to a bad day,’_ Izaya thought to himself as he skipped away quite cheerfully from the park, which would soon be destroyed by a very very panicked and angry Shizuo.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Basically the moral of this story is always use protection (seriously guys ALWAYS) and also never fuck Izaya. Or Shizuo. Or both. This is a oneshot so I doubt Ill write more but who knows? Ive never written them before so ~~ 
> 
> Comments and Kuddos appreciated as always!


End file.
